The Boredom Chronicles (Again)
by ForgottenUmbrella
Summary: Off to school we go. Gensokyo is bored, and sends Koishi outside to entertain them. What happens is anyone's guess...
1. The Hakurei Shrine almost gets -

Hello, I'm back with a remake of The Boredom Chronicles, now hopefully not as boring. The original is still around, so if you want to compare, go ahead.

* * *

**I - The Hakurei Shrine _ALMOST _gets Destroyed for Fun**

The air was stale once again in Gensokyo. From where I was, I could see the shrine maiden, Ms Reimu, sweeping the leaves on the pathway to her shrine. As Ms Marisa once pointed out during the, 'Yukari-decided-to-involve-everyone-in-a-war-for-fun' incident, more leaves fall during the cool months. Thus, recalling what my sister taught me, 'the temperature is inversely proportional to the amount of leaves falling'. If you do not know what that is, it means that the higher the temperature, the less leaves fall. Ms Marisa says that it means that she sweats the same amount no matter what the season.

I was wandering around the Hakurei Shrine simply because I had nothing else to do at the moment, so I stopped by to watch the shrine maiden and the visitors (invisibly, of course). I suppose I could have gone to visit my sister and her pets, but that would mean wasting the bright daylight up here. They should really come up once in a while.

Ms Reimu finally finished sweeping all the leaves into a neat pile by the side. She sat down at this small metallic table and poured herself a cup of tea. A few minutes later, the flapping of wings could be heard. We looked up into the sky and saw Aya, the "honest (liar) newspaper reporter". She threw down one of her largely misleading newspapers, the front page headline reading, "Meeting at Hakurei Shrine tomorrow!" For once, a headline that actually made sense and was useful. That was an achievement, considering the kind of titles she had come up with in the past... "Shrine Maiden Kills the Dead!" during the never-ending winter incident over five years ago. "The Moon gets Replaced!" during the fake moon incident just after that, and, "Crazy People on Youkai Mountain!" when the Moriya Shrine appeared at said place.

The red-white heaved a sigh, one of irritation and not one of relief. "Why here... Why here... Why not the Scarlet Devil Mansion or Hakugyokurou..." She grumbled to herself. "The preparation for this kind of Gensokyo-wide event is insane, even with the help of Ms Yukari and Suika... although they mess up more than they help, especially the former...

"Right, everyone knows where my shrine is, the Moriya Shrine is too far, the Yakumo Mansion's location is unknown, Eientei is literally in the middle of nowhere, nobody dares to go to the underground Palace, and the temple cannot accommodate everyone. Tch, I was kind of enjoying the serenity lately.

"Ms Scarlet and Ms Sakuya are coming, so we'll need shelter from the sun. Hmm... what about the tea... I'll have to tell them to bring their own. Oh, and snacks, yes snacks..."

She continued going on and on about all the trouble that this would cause her, how cleaning up would take forever, yeah, you get the point. I hope you get the point, at least.

I had heard this kind of complaints from her before, but since she could possibly seal me somewhere or exterminate me on sight (I would give her a mouthful of roses first, okay?) and since I was not willing to take the risk of vanishing for real, I decided against helping her. It was not as if I would be attending the meeting anyway. Sister was representing the Palace of the Earth Spirits, and also the underground, so there was really no need for me to be there. Sister was great at meetings.

I turned away from the Hakurei Shrine and continued my walk around Gensokyo, enjoying the sunshine and vitamin D. It was lovely, and I hoped that these times would last for another decade or so. Of course, they would not, because I manipulate the subconscious, and not fate. Go ask the Scarlet Devil Mansion's mistress if you want that. Although, it might not go as you had planned.

So I wandered around in the peaceful atmosphere of the place called Gensokyo, unaware of the chaos that would ensue the next day.

And that chaos would be caused by me.

... ... ... ... ...

Although sister was attending as the representative of the underground, and I had made it clear that I had wanted nothing to do with the meeting, I still attended anyway. Invisibly, of course. _"Why?"_ you ask? Well, I just wanted to observe.

When the last person to arrive, Reisen, stepped into the circle of chairs and sat down, the meeting finally began. I mean, after she apologised for being late and explained that Eientei was nearly set on fire due to a flame-throwing maniac and that a whole section of the forest would have been burnt down if a kappa had not been there to help douse the fire. At least now everyone knew why Ms Kawashiro, who had come with Ms Inubashiri (nobody wanted Aya here) to represent Youkai Mountain, walked in looking like she had just fought a fire.

"So," Ms Reimu began, "The problem appears to be that there is... No problem."

Several people cheered, only to get amulets whizzing past their heads. "That was a warning shot. The next person who cheers will get one in her face."

The people there had mixed reactions to this threat. Some, such as Ms Kazami (who was not actually invited, but nobody had the guts to tell her so, and those who did could not be bothered to do so) simply waved it off. I mean, she could probably reflect it or overpower it, even though she probably could not outrun it. Others such as Ms Reisen trembled slightly. She seemed to recalling the "Imperishable Night incident", where Ms Reimu and Ms Yakumo threatened to shoot off her clothes if she did not move.

Ah, reading memories sure was fun~

"So the premise of this whole meeting was to make an incident?" Ms Yukari asked.

"Basically, yes," Ms Reimu answered.

"Then may I propose that we destroy your shrine?" Ms Marisa said as a slight smile crept onto her face.

This statement earned Ms Marisa a good hard whack on the head with Reimu's gohei, also known as the fancy stick.

"Never! Not again!" She shrieked. "There's no point in re-doing that again, since repetition of events is always not fun." (And I don't need to rebuild my shrine again and worry about the cost,) she thought.

A voice that sounded like a horn cut through the air. When I say that, I am really not kidding. Her singing sounds more like she is part of the orchestra than the singer. Although, the Gensokyo Orchestra does not need a horn, though they could do with a flute or a tuba... And singers that did not break glass or make people blind.

"What's reh-pe-ti-tion?" Cirno asked. She was a child in non-human terms, but a grandmother based on her age if she had been human. Fortunately she was a fairy, who apparently might grow into a youkai due to her powers which exceeded regular fairy abilities by quite a bit. Her knowledge was slightly below average for a fairy nearing her seventh decade.

"Repetition means to do again and again," her good friend, Daiyousei (Dai for short), patiently replied. Apparently she was nearly a century old, but she still listened to Cirno as she was "more accustomed to life outside the lake". Dai cannot remember what she is the fairy of, but it is widely speculated that she could be a mist fairy, or even an elder snow/ice fairy. It has something to do with one of the three states of water. Unlike Cirno (well, most fairies), she was pretty smart, having wisdom and knowledge rivalling that of a teenaged human child.

The two of them were coming as the Misty Lake representatives. Under normal circumstances, they would have begged Ms Whiterock to go, but since it was not yet winter, they came instead. Considering the Misty Lake area consisted mostly of fairies and plants, it was a relatively okay idea since most of the other nature spirits around there would have been playing pranks (such as blowing up the shrine) on people already. At least those two could control themselves for an hour or so. Nobody was really pleased to have them, but it was better than having spikes on the chair when you sat down.

Ms Yukari appeared to be deep in thought, but frankly all she was thinking of was, _"It's so cold, I wanna sleep..."_

_"In the middle of the third month?"_ I thought.

Finally, she spoke. "How about purposely sending someone to the outside world for a while, and tracking how well they're doing with blending into society there?"

There were some murmurs among the circle of people. At last, Ms Sanae rose and said, "Oooh, that sounds fun! Whoever we send must look human but cannot be human!"

I remembered Ms Sanae. She was standing on the pathway leading up to where I had been during the Orin-releases-spirits incident, otherwise known as the "Subterranean Animism incident". I watched Ms Reimu and Ms Marisa fight their way through a shower of... Fruits and rice... Right. When they made it to me, I would have burst out laughing. I mean, who challenges people while covered in food? That day I found out not to underestimate people with banana peels on their heads, and rice in their clothes.

Ms Yakumo had a rather devilish smile on her face. "How about schools? Most of you look more like children than adults. I'll help with transport from here to there, but once you're out there, you're on your own."

"Ah," Ms Kamishirasawa said. "Like the school in the human village." She would know what they were like, being a teacher there. From what we had heard of the outside world, the way their schools were run might have been slightly different from ours.

"In that case," came a voice. "How about I volunteer..." Ehhhhh? Sister would volunteer for something like this? "...my sister."

"EHHHH?" I practically screamed, ceasing to be invisible and drawing the attention of everyone. "I OBJECT!

Ms Reimu calmly took a sip of her tea and commented, "Objection overruled. Hosts _always_ get the final say, and today it's my duty to be the host, so I might as well put that power to good use."

"But... but... butbutbutbutbutbut SISTER WHYYYY? WHY SISTER WHY?"

"Simply put, I think it'll be entertaining for you."

I pouted like a young child about to throw a tantrum, and sprinted off into the forest.

* * *

'Yukari-decided-to-involve-everyone-in-a-war-for-fun' incident - Sengoku Gensokyo, cool fangame.

"Inversely proportionate" - I was learning this in Math class.

"I OBJECT!" "Objection overruled." - Joke from one of my teachers.

I'm trying to make it humourous, is it working? By the way, I wrote the majority of this on my phone.


	2. Wheelbarrows Make Good -

So this was actually written 1 year and 1 month ago, but since I kind of lost interest in Touhou for a while, I never submitted it. The reason I suddenly remembered was because I was thinking about trying to make a comic out of one of my fanfics someday, and this one actually started as a comic (ugly, but still a comic) Not to mention, this is one of my only stories that I actually like.

* * *

**II - Wheelbarrows Make Good Transportation Equipment**

I stood in a clearing in the Forest of Magic, stopping for a while to breathe in the fresh air (and catch my breath). I wondered whether the area had always been free of trees, or whether they had been destroyed by _someone's_ experiments. Considering that one of the experiments had literally created new stars in the sky, the constellation "Genesis", which was only visible twice a year, and could not be seen from anywhere except Gensokyo, destroying a ring of trees did not seem like much in comparison. The constellation was roughly a heart with a line across it, consisting of seven stars that were not natural.

I thought about what good could come out of the opportunity that I had been offered, such as being able to go out of Gensokyo without having to sneak out, walk into the barrier and nearly get vapourized, waking up an irritable shrine maiden, or making friends who were _actually _human. While I was busy agreeing with Sister that I was suitable for the job (in my head), since I looked pretty young and human-like, save for my third eye, a long white sleeve shot out from behind me and grabbed my neck.

I wanted to tell Ms Reimu that she was strangling me, but all I manage to force out was, "...Cho...king...ack!" When she finally realised what she was doing halfway back to the shrine, I had already become limp from the lack of air. She probably only noticed because she was dragging more weight than she had been earlier.

"Ah, sorry about that," she said. As if on cue, she tripped over a rock and desperately held on to whatever she could find. Fortunately, she did find something to hold. Unfortunately, that something was my neck.

You can tell that I survived that incident, since I am talking to you now.

When we arrived back at the Hakurei Shrine, Sister immediately brought me back underground and spoke to me about their plan, as if I had not been there, listening to every word they had said. It was fair enough, since I had missed the latter part by running away into the depths of the forest.

"Koishi, you know you have an important duty now," she began. "_Yeah, sure, thanks to you, Sister." _I thought.

"Ms Yakumo says that you will be enrolled in a school in Kyoto, which is a place in the outside world, in Japan. Why Japan? We speak Japanese, so it will make it easier for you rather than having to learn a new language. She will help you make the necessary arrangements for enrolment, so don't worry. According to her calculations based on what she has seen and the humans in the Human Village, she'll sign you up for 8th grade, with thirteen and fourteen-year-old human teenagers.

"No, it isn't insulting. I know what you're thinking even if I can't actually read your mind. Ms Hakurei and Ms Kirisame are eighteen this year, so it isn't that much of a stretch."

She then told me that we would have to go shopping the next day for supplies in the outside world, and that Orin would bring me. We would have to bring everything back by hand though, since the chances of a deliveryman making it past the Hakurei-Yakumo Barrier were about as much as Okuu successfully taking over the world. Wait, the chances of that were about as much as Remilia Scarlet sparkling. Technically it was called the "Great Hakurei Barrier", but since Ms Yakumo had quite a bit of involvement in its reinforcement and lives somewhere near it, I liked calling it that.

Orin had no need to disguise herself, as the humans would probably think that her cat ears were a hair band or something. They would probably only suspect otherwise if she walked around with the evil spirits floating around her and her wheelbarrow, which she will never let me ride in until the day I join Ms Saigyouji and Ms Konpaku, even if she is the latter is only halfway there.

I had hopes for my first (legitimate) trip out of Gensokyo, but of course it was far more insane than I expected.

... ... ... ... ...

The next day, Ms Yakumo appeared in front of us just as we were about to leave, and gapped us away to the outside world. Floating in the middle of nowhere with nothing but Orin and a bunch of creepy red eyes observing you is not enjoyable, even if it is only for a few minutes as Ms Yakumo works out where she wants you to land. In battle, it is absolutely terrifying. Just as you are released from the gap, she throws a train at you that propels you into a spinning parasol. Whoever invented canes could have used umbrellas as an alternative.

The gap spat us out in an alley. A smart choice, since nobody would bother about where two girls who had just walked out of an alleyway had come from, as opposed to appearing in the middle of the street. We managed to not get too many weird stares, since Ms Yakumo had informed us that Gensokyo was quite different from the outside world in terms of the way we dressed, so we had decided to change into more "outside-worldly" clothes. This meant that I had to swap out my usual light orange, long-sleeved blouse for one with slightly smaller and shorter sleeves, with a turtleneck instead of a polo collar. Both Orin and I had to reduce the amount of frills on our clothes, or else we would look too formal and strange. I also made sure that the humans would be unable to see my third eye.

When she found a shop with a sign that said, 'School Uniforms Sold Here', she pulled me inside as casually as you could yank someone by a seemingly-invisible cord. I winced in pain slightly. Even though I had sealed my third eye, it could still hurt since it was still a part of my body.

Orin informed me of Sister's instructions, which were to get the school uniform that had a pink skirt and a brown jacket over a white blouse. I mustered up as much courage as I could and walked over to the lady standing behind the counter, telling her what I wanted.

She took her time to answer me.

"Hmm... That would be UHS, Junior High. Here, I think this is your size," she said, before practically shoving me into the changing room. So I tried it on. It was made of nice, soft material and would have been really pretty, if it had not been _pink and brown, with a dash of red._ Even to a girl with little fashion sense, it was definitely the most ridiculous colour combination I had ever seen. _"How could anyone possibly wear something so hideous?" _ I thought. _"Ah well, I suppose I have to put up with it. Also, what in Gensokyo does 'UHS' stand for? I mean I KNOW it's the name of the school, but..."_

Orin was patiently waiting outside for me, humming 'Corpse Voyage ~ Be of Good Cheer' to herself, so I could not afford to take too long. After changing back, I asked the lady at the counter what the school's full name was, but I was pushed aside and only heard her say, "...School." I also requested for a longer skirt, but was told that the longer skirts were also wider, and would fall off easily. I did not want to hear that from her, because she was wearing a really long baggy skirt that looked like it could fall off any second.

After getting the several different kinds of uniform, the regular one, the summer one, and the physical education one, we finally headed to the next shop. I could feel that it was going to be an extremely long day...

... ... ... ... ...

"Hey Orin, any idea on why we need so many?" I asked the Kasha who was carting around all the supplies that we had bought that day in her wheelbarrow. Several people were giving us strange looks, but we continued walking.

I heard one of them think, "_Wheelbarrows as a transportation device... Interesting."_

They were free to think whatever they liked, but they had better hope that they would never get to see the insides of the wheelbarrow. The books that we had bought came in all shapes and sizes, making we wonder how I could possibly bring them to school. Perhaps I could borrow Orin's wheelbarrow or manipulate someone into helping me... Just kidding.

After visiting one more store, a familiar blonde-haired lady clad in purple appeared before us and whisked us back to Gensokyo, as if she had known exactly where we were and what we had been doing. Of course, she had.

Once again, we stood in the middle of nowhere, with crimson eyes staring at us. I supposed I would have to get used to being in Ms Yakumo's domain... Hopefully.

* * *

The next chapter's already been written, I'll post it once I finalize their names and stuff. I'm sorry that this is going to be a very OC-heavy story, but I can't do much in a school setting... Alright, I just checked the Gensokyo timeline and have decided to place this story in 2012, or Season 127. This is because it has to occur after SA (2008-2009, apparently), but I mentioned Toyosatomimi no Miko in the next chapter, and TD apparently happened in 2011. Since this story happened because the residents were BORED, and nothing happened in 2012... Also, I said that Reimu &amp; Marisa were 18 this year, so they weren't like toddlers when fighting Remilia (lol)

I don't know why I named the constellation "Genesis", okay?

It's kind of weird setting this in Japan, but I suppose I just need to get the school system correct and it _should_ be okay. It'd be even weirder setting it somewhere else...


End file.
